health is wealth

 

As a budding writer I discovered some fascinating things about myself recently—the fact that I don’t even feel that bad about myself, for instance.

It seems that I am, for one thing, remarkably more passive than I am externally. I just sit, munch, and go.

That, on the other hand, has a deep emotional connection:

Instead of being angry at myself for not being disciplined enough—to work hard enough—I sit still, take a deep breath, and write.

But, at the same time, I learn that I am quite well-rounded, and that being engaged in different areas—with others, with my dog, with a bucket of water at my kitchen sink—even the same activity at the same time does make me happy.

These two observations provide me with a new outlook on life. When I was younger, I made a serious effort to push myself. I’m not resentful that I can’t become fluent in languages just by practicing for the whole month, and I’m not

I’m not going to deny that fact: I never have been a very good school athlete or the first in my family to graduate from high school or college. The things I want to achieve are various—they’re an elite education at my university, a state government position in the USA House of Representatives, and maybe even the prime minister of Malaysia.

All this helps me feel pretty self-worth-conscious about the whole thing. These things will never come my way. I will simply have to compete with everyone else, working my way up the ranks until I’m the first in my family to hold power.

Compared to the others, being happy is boring.

“You should be strong, you should be a little dominant, you should challenge yourself,

One of the things I’ve realized in the past month, however, is that as an entrepreneur, I probably would be better off demanding that these principles are implemented in the corporate environment. However, I can learn and grow without being loud or destructive, and that being engaged in different areas—with others, with my dog, with a bucket of water at my kitchen sink—even the same activity at the same time does make me happy.

I don’t consider myself a hippie. I enjoy romantic dinners, overpriced restaurant food, and most certainly wine and beer—which have all helped to augment my life. When I’m really sitting still, though, I like to slow myself down, step back, and focus on the present moment.

Rather than be discouraged by my introverted tendencies, I’ve discovered that sometimes an aspect of me can become that trait that is certainly shallow. That became evident when I saw this video on YouTube, in which a deep purple, diamond-hued —!!!!— woman crossed a dripping river.

By participating in the video, she made me feel as though I can follow the same virtuous path. She helped me to feel as though I can transcend myself.